Wednesday, January 28, 2009

We Won, Oh, We Won

"You should care more about Canada."
"What do you mean? I think I care a fair amount about Canada. In fact, I'd argue that I care MORE about Canada than the average person. At least slightly. Like at least 10% more."
"That might be so, but I still think you can do better. You should try."
"Maybe I will try. But before that, I think you should try to list the good things that might come about if I were to care about Canada more."
"Maple syrup intake."
"What? What does that even mean?"
"Your maple syrup intake would probably increase. I hear that's a perk for supporting the great nation known as Canada."
"And that's a good thing?"
"Of course it is. You like maple syrup, don't you?"
"I do. But let us not forget: all things in moderation. This includes maple syrup. And probably care for Canadia as well."
"Did you just say 'Canadia'?"
"You just said, 'Canadia'. You did."
"Ok, yes, I did."
"Well, what the hell is 'Canadia'? Or did you just misspeak?"
"Absolutely not. I don't misspeak. It just isn't written into my DNA. I am genetically incapable of misspeaking."
"What the fck are you talking about??"
"Whoa, pump the breaks. There's no need to be vulgar. Please. Think of the children."
"What children?"
"Well, there aren't any physically here right now, but think about the children of the world. Like the little Canadian children. Think of them."
"You're right. Pardon my language, children of Canadia. Dammit!"
"What the Orville Redenbacher, mate?!?"
"You see what you just did? YOU did this."
"The only thing that I see is that you obviously don't care as much about Canada as you lead others, like myself, to believe. Perhaps now is a good time to take a step down from your Canadian soap box."
"I didn't lead anyone on. If you thought I cared a great deal for Canada just because I told you that you should care more about Canada, you are mistaken. And I forgive you for that."
"What's to forgive?"
"Truth. I think we've just achieved the fabled 'Win-Win-WIN' compromise."
"Agreed. I think we just may have. Congratulations to us both."
"Thank you. And thank you."
"And now we kiss."
"And so we shall."

No, I'm not insane.


lg said...

what is wrong with you?

A. Rose said...

haha. so random and yet so entertaining.

lengface said...

woah okay dave eggers =P