I've been out of sight, and now I'm sure I'm out of mind. I'm open to the best and worst feelings one might feel. And I'd crawl on my knees for it all back despite Logic telling me what's painfully obvious.
10 Jan 2008, 0550: couldnt sleep again. when will i get a full night's rest?
"Losing all hope is freedom." - Fight Club
Maybe it is all my fault. Not that it's no one's fault and that there's no blame and sometimes people just fall out of love, but that maybe it is all my fault. She's just not vindictive about it. She's just.. done with it all. Like when you've just come out of a movie that had some enjoyable points, but overall, you just thought it was ok. You probably would've just rented it at Blockbuster on a night you didnt have anything better to do.
14 Jan 2008, 0428: woke up again and couldnt get back to sleep for a while. dreams... i wont call them bad, but maybe for me.
15 Jan 2008, 0430: man, what a crazy yet interesting dream. my subconscious is fcked up or something. but i guess it wasnt so bad..
strangely enough, i'm beginning to enjoy tomatoes in a variety of dishes... still a big no to pickles though.
mm.. i guess the sliver of hope wasnt anything more than an itch. further evidence to not get your hopes up in life, kids. or maybe it's just "busy as a bee". back to the grind. i dont know
"never give up on what makes you smile."
she said "i didnt mean it. you just made me mad."
lots of times i wish i could just rewind the last 3 months, but that's life i guess.
would i be a fool to wait for something that may never happen?
i wonder who this "and you :)" is that she "loooove"s...
22 Jan 2008: I knew it'd be a bad idea to look at profiles right before bed.... but man, if only dreams could come true, it'd all be so easy...
23 Jan 2008: It happened again. And all was well, better than well, and then I woke up. I no longer stay up thinking about it; it comes in my dreams.